Hide Behind my Tresses
by Trey St. Clare
Summary: Sometimes Loki just wished he could wake up somewhere else, someone else. Anyone would do. Well he didn't always think like this, but when the trials of being a reincarnated supervillain really got to you, he would give anything to escape. Is that how it happened? Is that why he is standing in front of her, in her dress? If it is, well he has no right to look that pretty!


Oh so I have yet to finish my "it's all greek to me" fic. it sort of ran away from me, and I have yet to catch it. but on the bright side I wrote another while I try to catch it!  
Ok I lied it isn't the bright side this fic is terrible! I apologize in advanced for it! It is the product of lack of sleep, high exposure to the movie fight club and this pick.

Anyway here it is, I'll try and write something better next time! And as always I own nothing.

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Loki, in his somewhat short time in this present incarnation, had taken to embracing the many wonders of Midgardian culture, that to what he felt was the shame of his previous self, beforehand he might have ignored. He had taken to modern technology with relative ease, and had immersed himself in meme culture. He knew a limited amount about television, and music and pop culture. In fact where it not for the archaic verse in which he chose to phrase his vocalisations, he could pass for almost any Midgardian teen. Well almost, there was no doubt in the mind of Loki himself, or any who knew him, that he would have been one of the numbers of ostracised nerds in the class, of course this was all academic. Loki was no Midgardian teen; he was a god, an alien god, an alien god prince, a reincarnated, previously evil, alien god prince. However, that did not mean that there weren't times that Loki wished he could be someone else, anyone.

It had been months since the time Leah healed his wounds. Nothing between them had changed, although she had made it clear that she had been sent to help him, and should he require her assistance he was to, "cut the macho bullshit" and ask for her help. Although she had said it in a way that had made it sound like duty, he could tell in the things she didn't say that she wanted to help out of more than duty, and that alone was a great comfort to him. Although he would never tell her that. So the days went on, and not much changed between them, and not much changed in Asgard. He still found himself regularly on the receiving end of the frustration of one or more of his peers. The nights still held a dark, cruel and unforgiving sleep for him, however he mentioned none of it. But the thoughts where weighing heavy on his mind, and as of late it had been the weight of his own despair that pushed the air from his lungs, granted only shallow breaths, and tormented him with restlessness as opposed to the cracked or bruised ribs.

His mind often wondered as to who he was. He was Loki right? They were the same person, but then who was Ikol? He was Loki too right or at least a shadow of an old Loki. But that still left him without an identity of his own. He was meant to grow up to be good, but the path that he was being shown by example, is one where you punish the innocent in order to make your own grievances lessoned? And the citizens of Asgardia where shocked that he had done no wrong as of yet? Well so was he if this was the example that he was supposed to live by.  
He sighed lying back on the cold park bench, and looked up at the strange constellations in the Migardian sky. He had been sent on a mission to one of the larger Midgardian towns, to the east of the continent that Asgard currently found itself on. He had taken Leah with him of course, not that he had much of a choice, she was to stay with him until such times as his debt to Hela could be settled. However, he enjoyed his time out of Asgard, he enjoyed his time pretending to be mortal, playing the game of being someone other than Loki. But this blissful reprieve was to be short lived, the information that the All-Mother required had been ascertained, and he would make for Asgard tomorrow. Back to being Loki, back to whatever torments would be waiting for him.  
He had become somewhat fascinated by Midgardian culture, it was his escape, Midgard, Broxton, music, internet. It was all places where he didn't have to be Loki, didn't have to live in the shadow of the siege. He had even taken to reading Midgardian literature wherever he could misappropriate it from. Although many would fine the content of what he was reading questionable for his age.  
He had read one such book, that he thought of as he looked up to the celestial image before him.  
_If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?_

He smiled to himself, wouldn't that be nice. He sat up and made for the hotel that himself and Leah had been staying at, in order that he might sleep, if only a little, before the return trip tomorrow.

Leah had been awake when he returned to the room, of course she was she doesn't sleep remember, he felt like mentally slapping himself for hoping that she would not see how haggerd and pathetic the prospect of returning had left him. However, he held his head tall and strode to the furthest of the twin beds in the room and dropped himself down on it with a sigh. Leah sat on the other, legs crossed, reading from one of the aforementioned misappropriated Midgardian books. Her long slender fingers casually turn the page as her eyes glance up to look at him.  
"Enjoy your stole?" Her eyes fell back onto the page as she said it, and picked up on the new page of text.  
"Not particularly, it has done nothing to elevate my troubled thoughts." His reply was half hearted and he lay back and covered his eyes with his forearm. At this reply she sighed and, folding the corner of her page, placed the book at her side. Full attention on him now.  
"And what trouble plagues these thoughts of yours? I find it hard to believe someone such as yourself was capable of such an action as thought" The jest in her voice was apparent, but he did not even bother to stir from his position on the bed, he merely sighed and lethargically replied.  
"Sometimes Leah, I with the gift of thought would escape me, and I where as you imagine." She eyed him carefully, and with guarded compassion in her next words spoke.  
"Loki what troubles you, shoulders such as yours are narrow, lighten your burden through speech." He remained still with no reply. She let out a soft sight and went to pick up her book once more. She had come to learn that if Loki did not want to talk about something, then there is little would pry the speech from him. And as she went to start reading again, in the softest and quietest voice Loki replied to her.  
"Why must I be Loki?" She looked at him, she could have guessed many reasons for his lethargicall and melancholic disposition, but she would never have guessed them all to be right. For all his problems seemed to stem from this one root. He was Loki.  
"That is just the lot that you have been given." Her reply was tired, there was not a lot that she could say to such a question.  
"But know that where I able to change that for you I would. Now sleep." She picked up her place and began to read again. He hadn't replied for some time, and with his arm still covering his eyes she had figured him to have passed readily into sleep, but she would have been wrong for the stillness was broken by a quiet but cracking voice.  
"Do you really mean that Leah?" She would want to, wherever possible, avoid the emotional conversations with Loki. They left a somewhat hollow and turbulent feeling in her stomach that she could do nothing against. So wherever possible she would defuse such a situation.  
"Of course. Do you think I enjoy spending time with Loki any more than you enjoy being him?" She hoped that the tone of her voice made clear the remark was nowhere near as scathing as the words it was formed from.  
A grin cracked on his face as he made his reply to her.  
"I will hold you to that Leah" And with that he pushed himself up to the pillows and turned his back to her. Maybe he could wake up as another person.

It had been a long journey back to Asgard, and although they had left early, it had taken most of the day. It was late in the afternoon when they reached Leah's cave. Leah had busied herself by lighting the makeshift hearth in the middle of the room, and and putting what supply's they had brought back away. She had not hurried with these tasks, but when she had completed them and had nothing left to concern herself with, Loki was still standing awkwardly at the entrance to the central chamber. He shifted anxiously under her gaze, although she stood silent for more than a few uncomfortable minutes, when it became evident that he was not going to explain himself she tutted.  
"You must go and report to the All -Mother Loki, delaying here will do you no favours, you cannot put this off forever." Loki shifted again and seemed to look everywhere but at her. After another long drawn out silence he final spoke up, but continued to avoid her gaze.  
"You said you meant it right? When you said you would help me if you could?" She blinked a little as suspicion rose in her gut.  
"Yes, but I told you there is little I can do for you." She shrugged, and put her empty palms face up displaying the nothing she could offer him as help.  
"Leah, if I . . . if I could wake up somewhere new, as someone else, well a lot of the time I wish I could. And well. . . some other times, well I'm content with what I've got. But today is not one of those days Leah. And I don't want to go out there as Loki. And well you at least can help me with that." She looked at him, she was not sure she knew what it was he was asking of her. And although he still refused to gaze in her direction, she could guess that she did not want to know what it was he wanted of her.  
"What do you want me to do."  
"Nothing, I don't want you to do anything, but I would like for you to loan me something" She keep looking at him, he shifted uncomfortably under her gaze he still didn't look at her, but he could feel her gaze on him.  
"Well in that case what do you want me to give you?" There was a tone of annoyance in her voice, this was taking to long for her liking, and she was no closer to working out his cryptic remarks.  
"Well you know, I don't want to be me, so could you you know . . . and give me, well?" He was shuffling on the spot, digging at the dirt floor with the heel of his boot. She was at the end of her patience now, she was starting to feel offended and slow, by how he had expected her to work out what he wanted from a few cryptic remarks.  
"Loki my patience wanes, please do us both a favour and tell me what you want." At her sudden outburst he flinched slightly, and mumbling under his breath what sounded to her like "Must you really make me say it" He brought his head up to meet her gaze directly, and in a tired small voice he said.  
"Let me borrow your dress." She looked at him, and she was pretty sure that her jaw just hit the ground. She was sure it to be a highly unbecoming look, but it was hard for her to regain her composure as it all whirled in her head. He wished to avoid the unpleasantness of being Loki in Asgard by masquerading himself as a girl? Well she was unsure of how she felt about the whole thing, but she had said that she would help if she could, hadn't she? But through it all, and with the almost pathetic look he was giving her, she managed to close her mouth. And reaching for something to say to elevate the tension, she said all that she could at the time.  
"But, I have only this one, what will I wear."

There was a wrenching in his stomach that he was desperately trying to control. He was looking at her, searching for the emotions that he was sure she would be feeling toward him in that moment. He was sure she was feeling them, as he was feeling them for himself right then. Disgust, coward, how pitiful was he that he was willing to dress as a girl to avoid, if only for a day being Loki. He was a prince was he not? This was beneath him, but then the despair griped at him like tendrils of cold black self-loathing, and his resolve strengthened. She could think what she wanted, refuse him if she must, but he needed to try. He needed to be someone else if only for today.

However, when she opened her mouth, the words that followed where not that which his paranoia had expected. He looked at her unsure if this was a convenient excuse for not giving in to his, what he could only imagine she thought, ludicrous request or, well she wasn't going along with his was she. He blinked and there was a long moment where neither of them spoke.

She could see the wheels turning behind his emerald eyes. She had seen him vulnerable before, seen what the price of being Loki was and what it meant for him. She saw this battle out in his mind what he wanted, what he couldn't have, desperation, desire, expectation, there was a storm in those eyes and yet they shown with an unexpected brightness. If this was what he wanted, if this would bring him some reprise, if only for a few hours, she could stomach going along with it. Despite her best intentions, what she knew and what her mistress had told her, she had fallen into the trap that was Loki and, although she would never admit it openly she had feelings for him that she could not quell with cold words and bitter sarcasm. So she was the first to break the silence and clam the storm that raged behind his eyes.  
"We shall have to swap then." She sighed and shrugged her shoulders.

"If you wish my dress for the day, then I shall have to wear your cloths until such time as you return." The look on his face was overjoyed with gratitude, although she did not know at what. The dress? The acceptance? Whatever it was the grin was as wide as his face and as he opened his mouth to reply his gratitude, she felt the urge to deflate him somewhat.  
"Well don't stand there gawking, turn your back and take off your cloths." At this his smile faded and a blush rose from his neck.  
"Wh. . What?" She sighed and looked at the wall arms crossed on her chest, as she tried to seem as nonchalant as possible.

"Well there is only one room in this cave, and I need your cloths, and you want mine. So turn your back and take them off, and I shall pass you mine." At this she turned her back and started to undo the fastens of her own dress. She did not dare to turn around in fear that she would either catch him staring gormlesly at her or, almost worse she would catch him in a state of undress. So she busied herself taking off her many layers. She could hear the shuffle of cloth from behind her, the dull thud of boots hitting the floor, the higher pitched clatter of his head piece. The small "ummffs" and "grrrs" as he wrestled with his own clothing.  
"Right pass me your dress" He was the first to speak, although she had been the first to finish taking her clothes off. She sighed and keeping her back to him stretched her hand behind herself till her hand came in contact with his and passed the dress to him.

"Right here take mine" They repeated the convoluted procedure and she took from him his cloths, and began to dress herself in his ridiculous get up. She had never been more thankful for her flat boyish chest, as she doubted the outfit would have fit otherwise; and after wrestling with boots, pants, two undershirts and his tunic she was almost dressed. Loki however, had remained almost completely silent. She had imagined him to have at least a little difficulty with the fastenings, but no such protest left his mouth. And after finally sliding on his long gloves she cleared her throat.  
"Well I am dressed, how do you fare with my dress." There was a pause before he replied and the sound of fabric being smoothed down.  
"Yea, I'm dressed too." She let out a sigh and turned, shaking her shoulders to try and adjust the way his over tunic fell from them, but she stopped in her tracked when she set eyes on him.

He had no right, absolutely no right to look like that in her dress. He clearly had no trouble with the fastenings, as the dress hung just as perfectly from his slender frame as it ever could from hers. His hair, that he often hid under his many hoods, fell softly in lose wavy curls around his face. His face, framed with such soft ebony tresses, instead of the harsh black lines of his normal attire was softer and not as harsh, and his frame was slim enough under the dress that it was hard to notice his lack of feminine curves.  
She was aware that she had been staring, but at that moment she found it hard to care. She walked over to him and stopped, inches in front of him. Gaze still raking over the image that she was being displayed with. She pulled off the gloves and tossed them over her shoulder and silently, aware his eyes where following her every move, set about gently combing their hands through his hair. It was longer than she would have thought, she sees it so rarely, and softer than she though a boys hair could feel. She gently combed through the curls making it longer and wavier once they had been pulled out, and pushing his bangs to the side she held it, taking one of the barrettes out of her own hair and clipping his hair to the side. She took a step back and looked at him, there was still something off, and she squinted her eyes looking at him, as if trying to grasp at the corners of her mind what it was she was missing.

He had stayed quiet, he never let the shock of seeing her in his cloths show on his face. She looked a good two inches taller in his cloths, some of that must have to do with the boots he though. But his cloths seemed to fit her well, though she shrugged uncomfortably in them in a vain effort to have them hang in a more familiar manor. However, all thought had left him when their eyes met. They had held each other's for only a second, before her eyes raked over his form. All thought of this being a good idea had left him. As her eyes scrutinised him, and though he hungered to know what she was thinking he never spoke but, he assumed her silent approval as she removes his gloves from her hands and set to sorting his tangled mane.  
"I'm missing something. And I know not what it is." She spoke so softly, he was unsure if she was talking to him or herself. However, that didn't matter as a look of sudden clarity covered her face and she reached forward to grab his face and hold him still.  
"Hold still, I know what I have missed" And with his head firmly in her iron grasp, she licked the thumb of her other hand and brought it to his face. He had a petrified look, but made no effort to move and held completely still in her grasp, as she took her thumb and smoothed out his eyebrows. She rubbed at them for what felt like hours to Loki, held in her uncompromising grasp, but when she let him go they were smoothed into a delicate feminine arch. Though she wondered how long it would be before he rubbed his face and ruined it. However, she admired the work that she had done, he would easily pass for any young Asgardian girl. A pretty one at that, but she felt that he had become like the sun, and though she wished to look, should she stare to long it could be detrimental to her health. She was feeling an uncomfortable pining in her gut, a strange and hollow longing, and she knew not the origin of it. Although she would wish to claim it was jealousy, that a boy could look equally as good in her cloths as her, she knew in a darker place in her stomach there was desire and longing to caress his pseudo feminine figure. And that longing, was one she was keen to keep hidden.  
"How do I look?" She turned and strode back to where there was a log bench and dropped herself on it rather ungracefully, and crossed her legs.  
"Like any unremarkable Asgardian maiden" Was her reply as she supported her head on her hand.  
"Now however, I would suggest that you report to the All-Mother. Lest any more time pass." He looked at her sitting there and sighed softly.  
"Yes of course, I'm going there right now" He turned and began to walk out of the cave, he stopped however just short of the exiting incline to look back at her.  
"You know Leah, I think you look better in my cloths than I do." He smiled a wide grin at her she really did look amazing in his cloths, taller, bolder, more of her form was visible through the tighter fabric.

"Don't think this to be a regular occurrence Loki. I wish my dress back when you return. No matter what a fetching silhouette you cast in it! Now go attend to your business." With that he turned to leave the cave, and with his back to her now she could afford herself a cheeky grin as she watched his rear end exit the cave. And as he was all but out of sight a mischevious impulse filled her, and compelled her to call after him.

"Remember to keep your legs closed, and to sit down to urinate." She could hear the faint thud of him falling over, and the scuffling of dusting himself off. But no reply came, she chuckled to herself, pleased with her retort, someone had to be Loki.


End file.
